Sex, Drugs, and Rock N' Roll

An Introduction to My Life

For only being nineteen years old, you wouldn't think that I've been throught as much crap and drama as I have. Honestly I've learned a lot in my nineteen years of life that will probably shape who I am as an adult. It's hard to even find a place to start, but I guess chronological order would be best.

When I was 12 years-old my parent's divorced. My father had been cheating on my mother with someone who was younger than she was. I didn't know this right away, but learned it later. He left my mom alone with three kids, I was 12 at the time, my younger sister was 8 and my brother was only 7. It's hard to believe that it's already been seven years since that happened. Of course only being 12 at the time I was devistated. It was only worse that I was 'Daddy's Little Girl'. I felt like I was losing a part of myself, and I was, I just didn't know it at the time. Things were realativly easy until I got older.

Around the time I was 16 my siblings and I went to my dad's house for the summer. We were supposed to stay there for two or three weeks, now I can't remember how long it was for sure. Well we were there for most of the time, but we ended up leave two days early. Instead of leaving on a Sunday we left on a Friday because we were bored, there was nothing to do, and dad was working all the time so he wasn't doing anything with us anyways. You need to understand that we were living about two hours apart at this point in time so when we were there we were stuck at the house without friends. All we could do was get on the computer, watch TV, or ride our bikes down to the river, but that can only last so long.

While we'ed been there, my sister had wrote on the dry erase board that was on the fridge "I want to go home" with a skull and cross bone. Well both my step mother and my father both yelled at her only succeeding in making her upset and cry. Well on the day we were leaving both of them were at work and the three of us were at home alone. My mom was on her way up with my aunt and while we were waiting my step mother called and said, "Well maybe if you can't stay for the whole time, you shouldn't come back." Honestly I don't know how she got my number but that really ticked me off. Neeldess to say I wasn't looking forward to going back...and I didn't for a while.

After I got a boyfriend my dad called and said that he was coming to get us, but none of us wanted to go. My mom sent my brother to my Grandma's house, my sister was at a friend's house, and I was at home. However, I had my boyfriend and three of his friends there. When my dad showed up and called my mom to tell her that he was waiting she told him that we weren't going anywhere. He called the cops and they came to the house, and talked to my mom and then talked to me. However, as soon as he started talking to me I had four tall, buff, pot smoking high school guys standing behind me, circling me in, protecting me. It was one of the most romantic things he did for me.

After that my dad and I started talking again, so my boyfriend and I went up there for spring break and we were planning on staying the whole week. Well we were there two days I was ready to go home. He came home from work and was in a bad mood for some reason was yelling and cussing at the animals, and I just didn't want to be around that. So I called my mom without telling him what I was doing and told her what was going on. She said she was on her way and she would call him when she was close so I didnt have to tell him. Well, he caught me paking and it turned into this huge fight.

Around this time I had been talking to this guy online and he was flirting with me, even though he knew I had a boyfriend. Well when my dad and I got into this fight I found out that my dad was this guy. Who was flirting with me. My dad had been flirting with me. At first I didn't know what to think but it eventually hit me.

From the time I was 15 to the time I was 18 I was cutting myself, and it only got worse after this happened.

As of right now my dad and I are on good terms but there's no telling how long that will last. We'll just have to see where things go from here.